Away from this place, and me
by spiky-haired-madness
Summary: Without Roxas, Sora's memory is a whirl pool of nothing, but Roxas only wants to be free...will it be a contest of who deserves to live more? AkuxRoku SoraxRiku includes torture, near death and yaoi later on. .
1. two halves of a whole

Imasen-Not Here-away from this place and me…

Roxas POV

Roxas wished he could find away to separate himself from Sora, he loved him, yes, but he wanted to be his own person again, he WANTED to go back to the darkness, to the organization, where he had had a say, but where he was only half a person, although he felt whole there, beside his Axel. He wasn't sorry to say that if he could only ever be with one person he would always choose that spiky, short tempered pyromaniac he called his best friend, his other half really…if Sora wasn't around.

Sora POV

Sora felt awful, he could feel Roxas' sadness, his hate and his hurting, and he couldn't do anything about it. He needed Roxas to be whole, to be the Sora that Riku and Kairi and all the others new and loved, he couldn't handle being half again, he needed him, but all he wanted was for the hurt to stop, he cried sometimes and he didn't know why, but now he realize that Roxas was crying, not him. He had to give him his freedom, he didn't want the guilt of having a heart inside him, that yurned to be away from everything that he himself yurned to be closest to. He had to let his heart go, he had to give Roxas his life back, maybe he would come back one day,maybe he would decide that Sora needed to live too. Maybe not. But what ever the case, Sora couldn't take someones life, he couldn't slowly snuff out Roxas, like he was doing.

So Sora let out his heart, he sat in his room contemplating it for a long time, but in the end he realized what he must do to set Roxas free. He summond the keyblade, turned it around and drove it into his chest, where it would unlock his heart…

Roxas POV

Roxas sat in Sora, being Sora but longing to be Roxas beside Marluxia and Demyx, making fun of Xemnas and holding Axel's hand when he didn't feel good. He wasn't whole, not really, you were only ever whole beside the people you really loved, not the people you were forced to love. He wanted to be selfish and tell Sora to let him go, but he knew what would happen, Sora would be confused and his memories would fade away, almost disappear, but really they'd just be trapped, he would need roxas to be the happy-go-lucky Sora that everyone knew... he needed him, and Roxas knew it.

3rd person

A massive light engulfed the room, Sora was thrust back, against the wall, as the light errupted from his chest. A boy was slowly solidafying in front of him, his face a mix of fear, confusion...and then realization. Pure joy washed across Roxas' face. Then shock. "Sora, what have you done?!" he gasped. He didn't respond. Sora lay on the bed, 5 feet away, blank, lifeless, except for the short shallow breaths that came in starts ans stops, like he was hanging on to life, with all his disconnected heart.

"Sora!?" Roxas screamed, he lunged forward onto the browned hair boy, he shooked him violently "Sora!! please Sora, what have you done?!" There was a flash in the little boy's eyes. The shock was wearing off, and now he could think..

Sora POV

_I am Sora, I am 15, I have brown hair and blue eyes..._But there was nothing else, he couldn't remember...it just kept going around in his head, he couldn't ask questions, or answer, he just repeated over and over..._I am Sora, I am 15, I have brown hair and blue eyes..._

3rd person

"I am Sora, I am 15, I have brown and blue eyes..." the boy whispered in a monotone. "Sora?" Roxas didn't know what to do. He was finally free, he was his own person again, it exactly what he wanted, but was it worth putting Sora in some sort of vegetative state?

Sora POV

_I am Sora...I am 15...I have...why am I here?_ He wanted to know, and as he wanted, he also remembered a small thing, from a long, long time a go, a silver haired boy was standing in front of him, holding both his hands..._"Sora, I love you, I always have and I always will, you are my sky..." _and now he remembered something he himself had said..._"and you are my land, and I love you...Riku" _Riku! He remembered Riku. There was a flash of pain just then, as memories flooded back, as the shock of loosing your heart wore off...and now he remembered Kairi and Donald and Goofy and Mickey and Naimine and Roxas...and he remembered what he had just done.

Roxas POV

What had he done? He was the one that made Sora think of this, he wanted it so badly that he subconciously persuaded Sora to do this, he knew it, and this was all his fault, his fault that Sora was a lifeless shell. But could he fix it, could he make this right and put himself back?

3rd person

Just then, Sora stopped mutering "Riku...Kairi? Donald, Goofy, King Mickey! Namine...ROXAS! No! AAAAAAAAAAAH" the little boy was sccreaming his lungs out "please, please ROXAS!" Roxas didn't know what to do, "Sora, if you concentrate, I can go back inside, we can be whole again" Roxas knew this is what he should say, even though thats not what he wanted.

"No Roxas, don't, you need to be your own person" He sounded like he was cohereint now, like he knew what was happening even if he didn't know exactly who he was."I did this so you could stop crying...please, it isn't so bad, you need to go to the darkness, you need to see Axel...I know I could never take what you've taken, If I was away from Riku, like that, i really dont know how you didn't kill me out of pure hate for me, I'm so sorry Roxas, for being so selfish and keeping you like this...". Roxas was stunned, he did hate Sora sometimes, he thought he was being selfish, he didn't realized how guilty Sora felt. "It's okay Sora, you don't have to be sorry, you only wanted to be you, just like I just want to be me." and then Roxas didn't know what to say, he wanted to go see Axel, but he didnt want to leave a half of a Sora for Riku to find. he would be murdered in his sleep --".We need to talk abut this more Sora, it's not just an argument of who deserves to be happy, who wants to live most, we need to talk about this." "Alright, but now, can I sleep? I'm so tired..." just as Sora let out a heavy sigh, Roxas realized how tired he was too "alright, lets sleep" so the two halves of Sora layed down beside one another, there was a feeling of love, but not like when you meet someone and fall into love, it was compassion for someone who had hurt you, and a love for yourself, for doing what you knew was right. And as they slept they had the same dreams, the same thought...something was wrong...as if they were to different bodies, but they were very much still connected.


	2. alls fair in love and war

All's fair in love and war...

3rd person

Dawn had broken, hours ago, and at noon, there was finally a sign of life from th two teenage boys, asleep on the bed. The blonde one cracked his eyes open, immediately shutting them to the bright midday sun. He rubbed them ferociously, and then a realization came over his face, he was using his arms, he was thinking, Roxas was his own person again. At that moment, the littler brown haired boy beside him gave a jaw wrenching yawn. "Sora? are you okay?" Roxas asked nervously, all the guilt and fear he felt last night was flooding back. A smile erupted onto Sora face "I don't understand it Roxas, but I'm fine, I can remember...everything! Nothings changed or blurry, this is amazing!" Roxas couldn't help but copy Sora's infectious smile at this news. Everything felt like it was going to be fine, for that one moment, right as they woke up.

Sora POV

He could remember everything, just like Roxas was still part of him. It was amazing and he thanked whoever made it this way in his head, as he went over every memory, clear and perfect. _But then, something was_ _wrong...the colors were melting from Kairi's smiling face, the shadows were lengthening, the beach that he and his friends had played on was disappearing, turning black, there was no sun, only shadows, and darkness...The Darkness. _And at this, all was chaos in his mind, there were glimpses of thing, no color or recognition, people and places that he couldn't remember ever seeing with his own eyes...

3rd person

Sora smile started to slip from his face, his eyes became the vacant, endless holes that they had been last night. Flashes of pain swept across his face. It was agonizing to watch, like you wanted to help so badly, but there was nothing you could do.

Roxas POV

"Sora? Oh please, not again, THIS ISN'T FAIR" he screamed to himself, why couldn't this all just WORK, why? Why? WHY! WHY! He needed to find someone who new about this...he needed Namine, but where was she "Kairi" Roxas whispered to himself. "I need you Kairi".

Riku POV (the beach)

_Where was Sora? Was he not coming today, impossible, he would have told him, Sora was not the kind of person to bale on people, especially not Riku. What if he's not okay? That's pretty much the only reason why he wouldn't tell him. I'm gunna go see if he' home...there MUST be a perfectly good explanation for this. _Even though Riku didn't believe it, he just kept repeating it to himself, as he walked down the road to Sora house.

3rd person

There were muffled voices coming from down stairs now, Roxas couldn't tell what they were saying, but it sounded like Sora's Mom was talking, then a lower voice. Then there wasn't anymore talking. But as Roxas calmed down, the door to Sora's bedroom opened, and in walked the boyfriend of the boy Roxas was holding in his arms...on his bed, with tear marks down his face..."Wha...Sora?! Roxas?!"Riku ranned to the bed and shoved his face in Roxas's "What the hell have you done to him! What Happened Here!" Roxas layed Sora n the bed and got off, to stand as far away from the enraged silvery haired boy as possible.

Roxas POV

He couldn't speak, and if he could, what would he say? Sora tried to be the good guy again? oh yeah, that a good way to not get beaten up Roxas. Riku wasn't yelling anymore, he shuffled onto the bed, and put Sora head in his lap, and looked into the vacant, endlessly searching eyes, looking for some sort of consciousness. "What happened, Roxas, why is like...this?" it was only a whisper, he thought Riku might be close to tears, and he could see why, he tried to image watching Axel like that...Sora looked, almost...dead.

3p

"Sora tried to be the good guy...again, it's all my fault, Riku. He wanted to let me be free again, I didn't know he was going to do..this." Riku tore his eyes away from Sora's face to look at Roxas, "no, its not your fault, Sora always has to be the hero, it's just his nature, he's completely selfless, it's almost dangerous."

Sora POV

_Shapes and people and places and were swirling around him, but still, nothing had a name or any significant, everything just..was. Suddenly, a little boy with silver hair came up, almost three quarters of these pictures had the boy in them, but this one was different, it was in color. A sound came to him "Rik...Riku."_

3p

"Rik..Riku." It was almost inaudible, but at least it was something. Riku's face shot back Sora's. "Sora...Sora...hi, yeah, its me, ya'know, Riku?"

Sora POV

_Riku was talking, it was so nice, he didn't remember much about him...but he new he loved him, and he remembered the word love, he knew he loved other people too, but right now, he only loved Riku. He wanted to touch his face, he remembered that he liked Riku's skin, it was warm and soft, he wanted to touch it, it was more than just a picture floating around in his head._

3p

Sora gradually began to smile, that infectious smile that everyone loved...his eyes were still only flashing and swirling with comprehension, but there was hope. His arm began to rise off his chest, were Riku had layed it, he was lifting it cautiously, looking for something. "Riku.." he said in a heavy sigh, shaking his head from side to side, like he had a bothersome headache. Riku grabbed his hand, softly and encasing it in his own, much bigger hand, he brought it to his face, and stroked his own cheek with Sora's hand. "Sora, come back, okay? come back, we're all right hear...you just gotta remember us. Roxas and Kairi and them? Remember Sora?"

Sora POV

_It felt like this was the first time, yet the billionth time he'd touched Riku's face. He was telling him something. What was it, he didn't understand the words, what was a Kairi? He didn't care...Riku's skin felt so...real. But then someone was tugging on his shirt. They were pulling him back, to the shadows...he was leaving...? Who was that silver haired boy, the word "love", it meant something, good. _But it was gone, that precious memory had slipped back into the chaos that were Sora memories.

3p

Sora's hand went limp in Riku's, his face dropped, into the terrifying nothingness of 10 minutes ago. "Sora, please no.. Sora?! Not again! Roxas" he shot his face toward Roxas's, "how do we fix this, there MUST be a way…" "We need Namine, I think the chains are broken in his memory, and Namine could put them back together…maybe." Riku eyes lightened at this small glimmer of hope, he would do anything to get Sora back, if it came to it, he would force Roxas back into Sora. He hoped it didn't have to come to that. "Okay, I'll sneak down stairs ans phone Kairi to come over" Roxas said, realizing he techinacally shouldn't excist right now...Riku took a long look at him "tell her it's important, and to hurry, 'kay? Tell her Riku said." Roxas smiled, willing himself to believe Namine could fix this, "okay." And he walked down stairs.


	3. The Horizon where sky and land kiss

The Horizon (_def. _where sky and land kiss)

The phone rang...it rang again. Roxas was fidgeting with the cord, scared that she wouldn't pick up. Finally a voice came from the phone held in Roxas's clenched hand. "Hello?" said Kairi."Kairi, hi" was all Roxas could manage at that moment, scared to death of what Kairi might say..."Sora?", Roxas could feel his throat closing up "close, but not quite." There was a pause of confusion. "uuuuh, hello? whats up! who is this?" Roxas couldn't explain over the phone. "Riku says you need to come over to Sora's house NOW, please, just hurry, kay, Riku said..." There was a noise like Kairi was going to say something, but all she sayed was "fine, I'll be right there" and then there was dial tone. _I can't believe all I had to say was "Riku said"._

Up Stairs

Riku strokes Sora's hair, brushing it out of his eyes. He finally had to close his own eyes, he couldn't take that emptyness anymore. "Sora, I hope someone can fix this, I really do." He wiped the moisture from his eyes, before it could fall. "Please, be okay Sora, please? Try to remember, remember...when we kissed for the first time? Remember how you were the color of a cherry, and I asked you if you loved me..." tears were really falling now, streaming down Riku's face, falling down his shirt and onto Sora's nose and cheeks. "Remember how you said 'yes Riku, your my best friend' and you turned away, like you wanted to say more, and I said..." He wiped away the flood of salty warm tears from his eyes. "I said 'Sora, I love you, I always have and I always will, you are my sky, and I leaned in closer to you like this.." And at that Riku dipped his head about an inch from Sora face. He said the next thing, in mearly a whisper "and then you said 'and you are my land, and I love you, Riku' and I remember the shock on your face when you realized how much you did love me, and so I kissed you, like I had wanted to for so long..." And then Riku looked at Sora lips for a split second, then to his eyes, and he kissed him, gently and sweetly, like he was saying a goodbye that he prayed would only last a little while, and that he wasn't saying goodbye for very long.

Sora POV

_Picture after picture after picture of meaninglessness, with an attention span as long as a memory lasted, and then he was floating around in Darkness again, repeating to himself over and over agian "I am Sora, I am 15..." until, sometime he would remember a little blonde girl in a white dress, or a big castle, or a silver haired boy, whom he loved, but only for a second, and then it was gone..._and then for the second time, although he did not know it, Riku shot into his mind. He felt hot tears fall onto his face, Riku was telling him, he loved him, and he remembered the story he was telling him, and then he remembered where and when and how, and what color everything was, and then he remembered...everything, everything just clicked. And Riku was kissing him, and he knew what had happened and what was happening, and he kissed Riku back, like it was the first time again...

Rikus tears almost stopped, he was accepting the fact that if he did kiss Sora again, he probably wouldn't kiss back, like now...so he just kept his lips on Sora's. But then, Sora, almost twitched, if Riku had looken into his eyes, they would be solidifying, into blue, and then he felt pressure on his lips and Sora was raising his head, and Riku didn't understand but he said to himself "if this is the last time I get to kiss him for a long time, I'm fucking enjoying it" So he grabbed the back of Soras head and pulled him up toward a sitting position, and Sora shimeed himself to sit in Riku's folded legs. And they kissed like they wanted each other right then and there, Sora wrapped his arms around Riku's kneck and Riku around Sora's waist and he tugged his chest closer. And they kissed, shoving each others faces closer, not wanting any space btween them. But finally they both realized the need for air, and slowly peeling them selves away, but only as much as they had to, Sora said "Riku, I'm so sorry, did I scare you?"

Riku looked into the familiar blue eyes, so present and kind..."yes, but its okay now, Sora, it's okay because your back...right?" Sora had a weird expression on his face. " where did I go, Riku?" Riku didn't know how to explain it " It doesn't matter right now, Namine, rr...Kairi is gunna be here soon. We thought you were gone, Sora, like, in a coma or something, maybe it's just the shock of...what you did..." Sora gave Riku pleading eyes and shoved his own face into the boys stone chest. "I'm so sorry, Riku, but I couldn' t take it anymore, feeling all of Roxas's hate toward me, feeling his loneliness, he needs to be with the people he really loves, what if you were trapped in someone else? and I was on the other side of the world? Wouldn't you be lonely, and hurt?" Riku loved Sora so much, that he couldn't help but understand how guilty he felt, but there was a point when you could be to selfless..."Sora, if you really feel Roxas deserves this than, I can't do anything about it." At this Sora's face, did something very unexpected, it twisted in horrific pain, he grabbed around where his heart should have been ,and screamed, so loud it hurt Riku's ears.

Roxas POV

What was taking Kairi so looong?! He had been waiting downstairs at the door for her, for at least 20 minutes, when he decided he would walk down the road and meet her. So, he opened the door, and got three steps out the door, when a shock wave of pain jolted through his entire body, fell to the ground all his nerves seizuring in agony _What the hell?! _was all he could think. He didn't know what was going on, but whatever it was, it wasn't going away. The intense pain whooshed throughout his body, especially around his heart, or where his heart would have been. He attempted standing, and fell back into the doorway, he skidded to a halt in the middle of the main hall, and just like that it was gone. Although the shock wasn't gone, and he still hurt everywhere, he didn't feel anymore pain coming.

So he just layed ther, panting with exhaustion. What...the hell...was that? And at that, the door opened and a girl in a pink dress walked in "Roxas?! But that means..." and she let out a blood curtling scream.

**Sorry for the annoyingly long paragraphs guys, there's just so much to say! Ya wanna comment pleeeaase? A- i'd really like to know how I can make this better and B- I've never gotten a comment before, so you'd be like, de-virginizing me! you know you want to(takes bucket of water and poors it over head)HOLY CRAP THAT WAS COLD! XD**


	4. In which a cliffhanger occurs

In which a cliffhanger occurs...

Kairi ran over to Roxas "what happened, Roxas WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" she skidded onto the floor beside him, looking impatient and curious. " Roxas, if you're here, is Sora okay?" Roxas winced as he got to a sitting position, " Sora's…we don't know if he's okay, that why we need you...Namine." Kairi looked really confused now, she was going to ask, but then Roxas cut in "Kairi, just, help me up stairs kay? Riku and I will explain."

So she put her arm around him, and he leaned onto her shoulder, and they walked slowly up the stairs to Sora's room, Roxas wincing at the fresh bruises he had acquired mysteriously.

Even though you'd expect a shock like Sora had had to knock him out cold, it didn't. Riku expected to see those lifeless pools staring back at him when Sora stopped screaming, but all he saw was pain and surprise. "Sora? Are you okay? What _was _that?" Riku almost didn't want to know, was it some terrible effect that hadn't occurred the first time this happened? " I…I don't know" Sora said in a shaken voice "but it hurt, like someone was tearing out my heart….again." Riku did understand but he had no time to ask more, because then Roxas with Kairi supporting him stumbled into the room. Something changed in Sora's eyes, not that he was slipping back, because it happened the exact same moment in Roxas's eyes.

Roxas POX

_It happened to you too, didn't it? _Roxas didn't know why or how, but he could feel that Sora heard him. And then he heard a very faint voice back _We're still connected?_ But then, even before Sora had finished saying it in his mind, Riku could hear it, and so could everyone else.

3p

"Could someone please tell me what happened?!" Kairi sounded exasperated from lack of information. "We're still connected." Sora whispered, it wasn't a question, it was the truth. Riku understood now, and he was terrified of what could happen. "So…what do we do? I don't know if you'll stay like this for very much longer." Riku looked into Sora eyes, and Sora could see the love and concern. So he shimmed back into Rikus lap and rapped his arms around his neck, and put his head to Riku heart, and said "Riku, I know I'll be fine. I just didn't have the will to fully disconnect myself with Roxas. But I'll never be really gone. Just…without the chain connectors, Roxas…my memories can't be chains. But there all still there, besides, even though I don't know, I'm sure I remember you the most." Riku loved Sora for being…so perfect and selfless, that he could say something so sweet, in front of Kairi and Roxas, and make it so private, like they couldn't even hear. Riku wriggled his arms around Sora waist and pulled him up nose to nose with him. He kissed him very sweetly and whispered, just so Sora could hear " I love you." And Sora smiled and said " I love you too. I promise the next time I go, I won't be gone for long."

As this happened in no longer than two minutes, Roxas and Kairi didn't have much time to feel uncomfortable with the privates of the moment, although, Riku and Sora both noticed the relief on their face when they looked back to continue the conversation. And then they were all very surprised after a moment when Sora broke the silence " So, I guess this means we're all going to the darkness."


	5. Chapter 4 continued

Chains a thousand times more precious than gold… continued…

…and then they were all very surprised after a moment when Sora broke the silence " So, I guess this means we're all going to the darkness."

There was an intake of air from the others. "what are you talking about Sora?" Kairi burst out "We can't go _all _go _back _to the darkness, just like that."

Sora looked very serious, like it made perfect sense to him. " Kairi, we have to…all of us have to…well, except for Riku." He looked up at the silvery haired boy with worried eyes.

" Of course I'll come Sora, I wouldn't leave you."

Sora

_I knew he wouldn't leave me._

Riku

_Oh god I hope Sora okay in the end._

Roxas

_What will happen to me now?_

Kairi

_Could someone please explain what exactly is going on ?!_

3p

"Could someone please explain to me exactly what going on?! Why go we all have to go to the darkness? Can we just find out how to fix it and stay here?"

Sora looked up at Kairi " Kairi, if we stay here there would have been no point to what I did. I did it because, I wanted to give Roxas freedom, but now, he can't go any where if I don't. So to that means I have to go to the darkness so Roxas can go."

"And I have to go because I can protect us, I might still have some favor with some of the filth over there. And I'm not missing out and staying here while you go guys go on an adventure." Riku smiled jokingly, they all new that he would follow Sora anywhere.

Kairi looked exasperated "So then why do _I _have to go?"

Sora looked at her again, frustrated by the fact that she wasn't taking this seriously. " Kairi, you don't have to go…but Namine does, and since we can't get Namine out of you here, and she most powerful in the darkness, you have to come. You gotta be separated so Namine can split me and Roxas and _then_ you can go home." Kairi just looked at him, frustrated but defeated, she knew now that there was no point in them going if she didn't come.

Sora smiled "so it's settled then we're all going to the darkness."

Roxas looked up from the zone-outness he was in "ummm….how exactly are we gunna get there?"

Everyone now realized that there first priority now was how to _get _to the darkness, nevermind what they were going to do after they got there.


End file.
